There was a huge wall, its colours kept changing. I could feel the claustrophobia taking over me. Suddenly, a strange tune started playing. It became louder and louder and louder until I woke up and the walls disappeared.
2:30 am already! It felt like minutes since we'd slept, at 12. In a flurry of confused movement, we got ourselves up and about. We arrived at our designated meeting point to meet other groggy faces and head off to the airport. Excitement dawned on us along with the morning. By the time we got to the airport, went through security and sat down to wait for the flight, we were all brimming with energy. 6:15 am, we were all on the flight and drowsy, awaiting the journey and the destination.
After a transfer at Delhi airport and a 45 minute flight, we were seated on the same seats in a new city. Further travel in cars awaited us, before we finally arrived at the beautiful campus of BHU. The greenery and cool air woke us all from our stupor and welcomed us to the city of Benaras. Meals at the guest house were served in a massive dining room that had a homely feel to it. This was only enhanced by the food, which was absolutely exceptional. In all of 2 hours since we'd reached, the city had began to feel like home.
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| On Our Way (Paromita Bathija, 2014) |
After a long lunch and some scramble over rooms, we were all comfortably settled in. After a short nap, we awoke to a wonderful nip in the evening air. It smelt of burning firewood, the kind of smell that is always familiar to those accustomed to spending winter months in the north. We then decided to pay a visit to the Vishwanath Temple within BHU campus.
Even from a distance, the temple was strikingly beautiful against the dark evening sky. A large central structure with carved motifs and a shining light atop, overwhelms you with sheer size and grandeur. In the stillness of the evening, the cold temple air was immensely peaceful. There were various idols and temples within, dedicated to various forms of Lord Shiva. The dull marble floor was cold against my bare feet. The realisation that I was standing in a temple in one of the oldest holy cities of all time, was too much to take in. The verandah on the first floor overlooked a planned garden reminiscent of the Mughal era. As the entire group happened to accumulate here, we began discussing religious belief and traditions. As the conversation slowly mounted in intensity, our facilitator spoke of faith, and the link Kashi has with most religions across the world. The talk left me with a million questions.
What do I believe in?
Do I need to have something to believe in?
What do I even want?
Suddenly, on my first day in the city, I found myself questioning my faith. I found myself lost.
During these dilemmas ensuing within my mind, the sound of bells began to flow upwards. It grew louder and louder until we all felt compelled to go watch its source. The daily evening Aarti had begun. A number of people had congregated outside the Shiv Linga mandir, heads bowed in prayer. The beating of the Dumroo and blowing of the Conch shells came together in a hypnotizing melody. The music seemed to invoke something in me. As though the faith of the people playing those instruments and their repetitive percussive beat was coming together to slowly give rise to an intangible creature. A creature that picks up pace with the Aarti, until the fully formed invisible creature wakes up and wraps inside each of the witnessing, invoking a sense of awe. The moment is as though even the most avid non-believer would begin to feel a sense of devotion.
How strange to feel two such contrasting emotions in such a short while. My first day in the City of Light, and I have already begun to question things around me, my existence. I do not know what I am going to understand or witness over the next week, but I'm hoping it helps me find some more questions, and quest for their answers.
Even from a distance, the temple was strikingly beautiful against the dark evening sky. A large central structure with carved motifs and a shining light atop, overwhelms you with sheer size and grandeur. In the stillness of the evening, the cold temple air was immensely peaceful. There were various idols and temples within, dedicated to various forms of Lord Shiva. The dull marble floor was cold against my bare feet. The realisation that I was standing in a temple in one of the oldest holy cities of all time, was too much to take in. The verandah on the first floor overlooked a planned garden reminiscent of the Mughal era. As the entire group happened to accumulate here, we began discussing religious belief and traditions. As the conversation slowly mounted in intensity, our facilitator spoke of faith, and the link Kashi has with most religions across the world. The talk left me with a million questions.
What do I believe in?
Do I need to have something to believe in?
What do I even want?
Suddenly, on my first day in the city, I found myself questioning my faith. I found myself lost.
During these dilemmas ensuing within my mind, the sound of bells began to flow upwards. It grew louder and louder until we all felt compelled to go watch its source. The daily evening Aarti had begun. A number of people had congregated outside the Shiv Linga mandir, heads bowed in prayer. The beating of the Dumroo and blowing of the Conch shells came together in a hypnotizing melody. The music seemed to invoke something in me. As though the faith of the people playing those instruments and their repetitive percussive beat was coming together to slowly give rise to an intangible creature. A creature that picks up pace with the Aarti, until the fully formed invisible creature wakes up and wraps inside each of the witnessing, invoking a sense of awe. The moment is as though even the most avid non-believer would begin to feel a sense of devotion.
How strange to feel two such contrasting emotions in such a short while. My first day in the City of Light, and I have already begun to question things around me, my existence. I do not know what I am going to understand or witness over the next week, but I'm hoping it helps me find some more questions, and quest for their answers.
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